You weren’t here when you were there….. July 27th, 2015 by Cherie Ray

rearDo you spend too much time looking in your rear view mirror?  The rear view mirror I’m referring to is not the one in your car, but the one that lives in your head.  It’s very common, during coaching conversations, to hear clients speak of doubts or regrets they carry about their lives.  There are certain hot-topics they repeatedly review, and they continuously analyze the actions they took or decisions they made.  This usually occurs when they’re in a low mood.  Most of the time, they have regrets or doubts about the way they acted during these times.  Did they do the right thing? Could they have done it differently?  Why didn’t I show up differently than I did?  Did I make a big mistake? 

Just typing these words gives me a real feel for how busy our minds can get about things that are long since passed.  Whew!  No wonder why we feel fatigued!

Here’s the good news.  Let yourself off the hook, now, for how you showed up, then.  The truth of the matter is, you did the best you could possibly do with the information and state-of-mind that you had at that moment.  And it couldn’t have been any different.  WHY?  Because it happened the way it happened.  If it were meant to be different, it would have been different.  The suffering comes when we see yesterday’s news with today’s eyes.  Somehow, with today’s eyes, it seems so clear how we should have been and what we should have done.  Guess what?  Human beings are continuously growing and evolving.  It’s our life experiences that support this evolution.  At any moment, we have the opportunity to have a shift in consciousness and see possibilities that we didn’t see before.  We can’t do anything to make the shift happen.  It’s part of the intelligent system behind life that works on our behalf.  What we can do is let ourselves off the hook for being human and relax.  It’s the best we can possibly do for ourselves.

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